1/23 I struggle with giving clear directions / clear explanations. Heidi says, first give clear directions on process, then as the unit progresses help them make deeper connections. Don’t make these deep connections right when you are presenting it. Wait. Let them make them later, once they’ve got a firm grasp on the foundational blocks. Think TP CASTT, -how Shift helps you determine Theme.
Mentally preparing for teaching, when Heidi is absent or simply just when I lead the period, I naturally go to a place of hoping the kids like me, or a desire to just get through the period or day, but what I want, and where the Lord gives me peace is when reorient my thinking around caring that my students understand the goal of the period. In putting my thoughts and desires there, I slow down and am present, not self conscious or worried, but simply being and doing what I ought.
1/25 I notice myself paying too much attention to vibes I am perceiving from students. It’s counterproductive when it gets to the point that I’m trying to micromanage vibes, or that I’m trying to make students happy, or for example, when I’m not clear in my directions, or explanations about assignments, -when I try to re-clarify. Sometimes, re-clarifying isn’t necessary. Understand when it is an individual who needs clarification vs the whole class needing it; and if it’s the whole class, understand when to drop it and come back to it the next day.
Yesterday, in speech class a student thought it would be okay to answer a phone call during the middle of a team building exercise (standing in a circle game). It was the second day of class. I was like, “Student, put it away,” -don’t remember exact wording. He was hesitant, but eventually put it away. I didn’t talk to him about it during that class period. I talked with Heidi on the phone after class, to discuss the day and the next day’s plans (she is so helpful!); she talked me through the situation with Student, what she would do, what she wouldn’t, what she would do in if such and such happened. So, today, taking her advice, I stopped Student in the Hall before class: “Hey Student, can I talk to you?” “Yeah.” “Can you help me understand why you answered your phone in class yesterday?” “It was an important phone call and I didn’t want to hang up on him.” “Ok. I don’t know about your other classes, but in my class, in speech class, that is not acceptable behavior.” “Alright, I understand.” “Will I see that behavior again from you?” “No, you won’t see it again.” (Not exactly word for word, but generally it went like this). It was a relief to me, as Will showed me respect to an extent, rather than blowing me off or something.
1/26 I noticed today that the vibe of my speech class is completely different than that of my other classes. I should have occured to me earlier as to why, but I only just realized it today. It’s an important realization, as my teacher presence has so far not really fit, or met, those students where they are, demeanor/vibe wise. Speech class if fourth period. It mainly consists of seniors and juniors. First through third period, I’m mainly teaching freshmen. So, the maturity level is different. 1-3 hours lend themselves to my being energetic and childlike-crazy; while speech class, they are real mellow and down-to-earth-like. So, mentally/demeanorly shift. This may take some experimentation, how to shift, but that’s okay.
1/29 You need to always check for understanding. It doesn’t have to be a big deal every time, but just a simple, call and response recap, if nothing else.
1/31 Today I graded a student’s poem, one that she had written, titled “I have to turn this in today” or something similar to that. The poem was good, but that title indicated to me that she had slapped the poem together quite quickly, even though only the title indicated so. I wrote in the margin as feedback, something like “I’d like to read a poem that you had put time into.” Upon receiving her poem back, she cried at the feedback. Apparently she had spent much time writing it, and it was about her anxiety around turning in her work, in general. Pretty much the worst subject matter to have that feedback written in the margin for. Heidi called her mother during our free period, explained the mistake, and apologized. Another thing, this morning I actually showed Heidi that specific feedback, asking if it was appropriate, and she, skimming it, said yes; she feels bad about that. Heidi explained to me that the real trouble is our potential backlash, which she took surprisingly, very seriously. I will be asking Lilly if I can talk with her in the hall tomorrow and personally apologizing. I hope she forgives and remains a hardworking engaged student.
2/5 Rambling on, and on, on your explanations or instructions loses kids focus –they start to lose focus, zone out, or check out. If, when giving instructions, you ask your students what questions they have, seeking their clear understanding of the directions or assignment, and you think they should have questions but don’t ask any, even after time of silence, Heidi suggests, then to ask them checking-for-understanding questions: “Jimmy, what’s the first step you need to take?,” etc. Again, always start with the purpose. Visual elements help for focus (especially when you’re giving a lot of instruction).
2/7 Issues in Public Speaking class. I’m getting vibed out. I’m being awkward. I’m speaking awkwardly in front of the class, as I’m allowing kids’ faces, moods, insecurities to affect how I feel. I was praying on my walk to school today for emotional constancy. A wall. An emotional wall, distancing myself from kids’ intentional or unintentional vibes. After being awkward –Heidi observed; I could tell she saw my awkwardice– I discussed this emotional constancy, wall, desire with Heidi, whom I would have expected to be in support of the idea, as it seems to me that she has built up a teaching persona that repels student stuffage, but she actually responded by saying among other things that when she doesn’t express how she feels, she’s more likely to blow-up on a student. She meant that she likes to talk with the student. She is constantly surprising me, in that she makes complicated issues, simple. She would go to the source, the student, who is getting under my skin, and talk to them about it. Get on a human level with the student. Let them, him, her, see your humanity. And try to work with them. Kristina Bruton, another experienced English teacher, next door, mentioned to me the best advice she ever received on classroom management: “First, look to your instruction.” –implication: do your best on content and planning; it the issue is outside of that, it is probably the student’s baggage, not your instruction. PS: You need to be strategic in how you run Public Speaking; consider the kids, consider the dynamic; manipulate it so that it works. If something isn’t working, lecturing, change it. Make it work well.
2/14 Transitions, closing, check for understanding, putting into a bow then moving to next activity. Goal. PS -kinesthetic for buy-in. Student-jobs/physical movement. This idea can be expounded upon for reflection of observation 2 -Elise. Gregg -your voice needs to inflect more, especially for transitions/closing of activity/ thee above.
2/21 The youth says, f this. The schoolhouse doesn’t teach me; I’m full of knowledge. The youth is full of knowledge, understands way more than given credit for, understands extremely complex concepts, without really trying. The purpose of teaching youths is to slow them down. To help them slow down, and look at a portion of that complex idea they know, look at it and then express it, or show it, or communicate it to someone who is not them. The least amount of friction between two people is the goal. Can you explain this to me without me being you, or are you only able to get frustrated at your beautiful idea that you think I can’t grasp. Friction. The adult learns, often by reeling backward. To break the rules with a purpose, to know why, and to be able to make that known. The least amount of friction between two people is smooth communication. Throughout life we vary between these two types of learning: learning how to slow down and give something to someone or slow down and learn how to explain it; and learning to express it without knowing why, just going, just letting it flow. Or these are two types of, not learning, but, expression.
2/27 Yesterday I asked Heidi what she thought about mindfulness practice, in general, as a teacher. She responding by discussing mindfulness as a classroom management/behavior management technique, which she then presented alternatives to: consistency, keeping students busy, etc. She stated that the best advice she’s received on classroom management is “keep students busy; don’t give them an opportunity to get bored.” This advice is very similar to what Kristina B. said about classroom management, “look first to your instruction. Heidi also talked about how new teachers especially, but all teachers, really need to buckle down and be hard a’s (my words) at the beginning of the school year; be strict, be consistent, never let slips happen, never let happenings slip unchecked, create clear expectations. Take this advice.
Then I said, okay, that’s taking mindfulness to be about classroom management, but what about the emotional aspect of it. She went on to explain to me that for years, three or four, she was like that with her students –like, likeable on a personal level, with them calling her in the middle of the night and all that, and she said that finally she was like, this isn’t my job; this is too much for me; I’m not their parents. So she stopped that –and I’ll add, recreated her teacher identity.
I’m considering the show the Crown. The queen represents the monarchy, not herself. She does her job. To teach is to teach students. To love by teaching is to teach, not to use the mask of teacher as a way to love. This is how you love people, by finding a job where you have a common ground, you can just look at someone and say i love you, you need something to look at with them and say, i love that, don’t you. This is the teacher; mindfulness is saying I love you, but lazily. We love ourselves when we are good and healthy to ourselves and push ourselves to become better. This is how the teacher ought to love.
I see teachers who focus on their students rather than teaching their students, creating tiring, boring environments. I see teachers who focus on teaching their students, loving their students by engaging them. The teacher who is him or herself always, by nature, plays favorites with students. How could you not, we naturally gravitate towards certain people. The teacher however isn’t made to play favorites, should instead restrict their own personhood for the sake of all students, and play the teacher.
Heidi said something that I think represents her teaching well, of all the time I’ve spent with her, this idea stands out strongest, yet I haven’t heard her say it (especially so concisely) until today: “When something is kind of irking me [about a student], I just talk to them.” It is so simple, but I see so many people wait, and passively aggress, because, of course, these other teachers are being real to themselves, they might feel –yet it is our duty to act promptly.
3/12 I feel like I loose my lower lever student’s trust, when I venture too far into the difficult questions of my higher level students. And even, you lose some higher level kids too if you present much ambiguity.
Part of me thinks teens flourish in complex ideas; but part of me thinks they want or need things cut and dry.